Christmas at Cade Ranch Read online

  “Timmy, get back here!” hollered his mother.

  Instinctively, she and James fanned out, blocking the child’s path. The moment he crashed headlong into James’s legs, Sofia dropped to her knees and caught the jar inches from the hard floor.

  “Thank you!” huffed the mother. The metallic wheels of her cart creaked and wobbled as she neared.

  “No problem, ma’am.” James smiled and Sofia coughed to break up the trance the woman seemed to fall into as she stared and stared and stared at the gorgeous cowboy.

  Giving herself a small shake, she took Timmy’s hand in hers. “You two certainly know what you’re doing when it comes to kids.”

  She waggled her fingers at them, then strolled away, leaving them openmouthed and staring at one another. The stranger had a point, Sofia thought, and her lips lifted at the corners.

  James’s answering smile began on his full lips, then traveled upward, lighting up his eyes, making them glow. Her heart squeezed. They made a good team, much better than she and Jesse had. She ducked her head and ran unseeing eyes down her list again, singed by guilt over the thought.

  Despite Javi’s question the other night, James would never be a father to him. That role belonged to the man she’d kicked out of her son’s life without a second chance: Jesse. James was only an uncle to Javi and could be nothing to her. It just wasn’t right, no matter how she wished it so.

  This was the price she must pay for not facing her addiction issues until now. If she hadn’t been so intent on sweeping them under the rug, she could have stood by Jesse and gotten him the help he’d needed. And if she had, he’d be here beside her instead of down deep in the earth.

  Would fun-loving Jesse have made her happier? Maybe. But she’d been younger then. More carefree. Now she appreciated a mature, world-worn man like James, a cowboy who’d been tested and honed by life’s hardships, like she had. Her feelings for James ran deeper and were more complicated than anything she’d felt for Jesse. James challenged her, got her thinking, made her melt and then drove her crazy...like right now, basically. He squinted down at her list and his nose flared.

  “Carbondale has a place where you could get your GED,” he said without looking up. “I enrolled Jesse once.”

  “I won’t have enough time.” Though she did appreciate him not judging her as she’d imagined he would. “I can look up classes in Portland.”

  “Okay.” A sigh escaped him. “So why do we need lemon juice concentrate and fresh lemons?” he asked.

  Men.

  There was a world of difference. A universe, even.

  “Because they’re not the same thing.”

  “How so?”

  “One’s concentrated.”

  “Can’t you just add more fresh lemon?”

  She didn’t even bother holding in her long sigh. “Wasn’t your promise to do anything I wanted?” An elderly woman nodded politely when Sofia angled her cart to let her through.

  James’s lips twisted. “‘Within reason’ was a silent, implied caveat.”

  She shrugged, tossed the yellow plastic container of lemon juice in their heaped basket and wheeled the cart around a corner and down another aisle. “‘If a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it,’” she quoted over her shoulder.

  “So, you don’t think you’re overbuying?” James said, snatching a tottering box of brown sugar and sliding it deeper into the cart.

  She paused to study Keurig coffee flavor packets. “One hundred guests are not going to eat chips and salsa and chocolate chip cookies all night.”

  “Why not?”

  She shot him a disgusted look so he’d understand just how much she valued that “input.”

  James grabbed a carton of peppermint-flavored Keurig cups and dumped them in the cart, the irony of the pricey extravagance completely lost on him, apparently, when it came to something he really liked.

  Sheesh.

  “Look,” he continued. “I know Ma usually goes all out, but this year can be different. More reasonable. You should see the amount of food she ends up giving away at the end. I’m not even sure how many people even want it since she doesn’t give them a choice.”

  “Whatever happened to tradition? Thought you didn’t like change. Oh. And that reminds me. We need to buy a bunch of plastic disposable containers.”

  He maneuvered himself between her reaching hand and the shelf. “Some things should be reconsidered when prudent. Are you listening?”

  One side of her mouth rose. “Not really. And we’re going to need another cart.”

  He shook his head and her heart fluttered a bit at that exasperated-amused expression that he usually wore around her. “Is that an order?”

  “Yes.”

  “Any chance you’ll consider off-brands at least?”

  She mashed her grin into a frown to keep this playful moment from turning too, ah, fun—a dangerous place for her to be in with a man she needed to resist.

  “This is the first time in my entire life that I’m holiday shopping and you are not ruining it for me. Besides, your mother was very specific. And the first thing she advised was not to take you with me.”

  “I think you’re a stricter drill sergeant than me,” he observed, then headed to the front of the store.

  Thirty minutes and twenty exasperated huffs from James later, they stood in front of the cashier.

  “Any coupons?” the young woman asked around a wad of chewing gum.

  With a flourish, Sofia produced a thick pile of clipped papers and handed them over.

  “Thanks,” groaned the cashier, not sounding grateful in the least.

  “Where did you— How—” James headed to the end of the conveyor belt and began bagging scanned items.

  “I found Sunday’s paper, clipped some from there, got on the internet, visited a few sites I used to follow back when Javi and I were—were—”

  She stopped, sensing the cashier’s attention, realizing what she’d nearly admitted and then, suddenly, that it didn’t matter. No. It did matter, in a good way. NA taught her to be proud of her struggles. They’d shaped her into the person she was growing to both like and respect.

  “Back when Javi and I were homeless and broke.”

  The cashier’s heavily made-up eyes swerved to her and filled with tears. “I’m getting evicted,” she whispered.

  “I’m so sorry,” Sofia murmured after a quick glance at the growing line behind them. “But it’ll get better. Promise.”

  “That’s what my dad says.” The scanner beeped eleven times as she ran the chocolate chips bar code over it.

  “You’re moving back home with your parents?”

  The cashier’s jaw lifted. “Just until I’m back on my feet. I dropped out of high school but I’m going for my GED.”

  “Me, too. Everyone deserves a second chance,” Sofia said. “We’ll get it this time.”

  James studied her for a long moment, then nodded, and a warmth spilled from her heart and flowed to fill every inch of her.

  What would she have done without the Cades? If she’d gone straight to Portland with insufficient resources, she and Javi would have struggled through another holiday. Now she could give her child the kind of Christmas she’d only ever dreamed of and it meant everything.

  Even more important, if not for hard-nosed James, she wouldn’t have gone to NA meetings and learned about herself and how strong she really was. He pushed her to try harder, work longer, never quit. He’d held up a mirror until she’d faced herself and changed what she saw.

  She couldn’t deny anymore that she’d fallen for him, no matter how hard she struggled to deny it.

  Electronic beeps droned on as the cashier continued scanning and James and Sofia bagged.

  Despite James’s grumblings
, he’d stuck by her during this marathon shopping trip, streamlining her list, organizing it in ways that didn’t demean her or hijack what she’d done. Instead of her old resentment toward anyone who ordered her around, she appreciated his input. Help. Not control or a threat to her sobriety.

  And even if it was, she was her own boss, the only one in the driver’s seat. No one could threaten her peace of mind and sobriety except herself. If she kept vigilant, didn’t bury her head in the sand as she once had, she could trust in her ability to stay clean because she mastered her destiny.

  If only James could be a part of it.

  Did she dare divulge her feelings in case he might reciprocate them? Would Jesse forgive them?

  “Thanks and good luck!” Sofia called to the cashier after money changed hands.

  “Happy holidays!”

  Out in the parking lot, James heaved open the back door of his closed-bed truck. “How much money did you just save?”

  “Ninety-three dollars and fifteen cents.”

  He whistled. “Now, that’s the kind of change I can get behind.”

  Unable to resist, she waved a brick of cheddar at him. “You’re so cheesy.”

  He hefted a bottle of Pinot. “At least I don’t whine about it.”

  Their shared chuckle ended when the family’s lawyer joined them. Mr. Sloan wore a bright red knit cap with a white snowflake pattern and a matching scarf over his double-breasted gray dress coat. His black dress shoes gleamed against the snow-covered tarmac.

  “Just the man I wanted to speak to.”

  James lifted the last bag of groceries from the cart. “How are you, Mr. Sloan?”

  “Good. Good. I wondered if I might have a word in private?”

  “I’ll just return the cart.” Sofia wheeled the apparatus around in the slushy parking lot and headed back to the grocery story, mind working overtime. Did this have to do with James’s challenge to her trusteeship of Javi’s share in the ranch? It seemed so long ago since he’d voiced his disapproval. Had his opinion changed?

  She hurried back and overheard Mr. Sloan saying, “Then I’ll tell Chuck to keep the case on the docket. See you in court.”

  Her heart sank.

  Despite everything, James didn’t trust her after all.

  On the drive home, the humming of wheels on asphalt was accompanied by the occasional swish of a wiper against some flurries.

  “You know that has nothing to do with what you told me in the store. Dropping out of high school and all.”

  Several more minutes flew by before James cleared his throat and said, gruff, “I believe you’re very bright. Very caring. You just haven’t had the chances others have had in life.”

  “I want Javi to have those chances...to have everything I didn’t,” she cried, her voice thick. “Before I had him, heroin was my only love. I had no one to disappoint except myself then, until I had my child.”

  A breath whistled through her tight lips. “So that’s why I’m the best choice to safeguard his inheritance. Cade Ranch is Javi’s future. Something he can be proud of. As his trustee, I’ll still be a part of his life, and he’ll be proud of me, too.”

  Her last words echoed in the cab. If James couldn’t see the best in her, then so be it. His view did not—would not—affect her own. Not anymore.

  He reached over and gathered her hand in his. “Your recovery is a lot to be proud of, but this isn’t about you. Or us. It’s about Javi.”

  She yanked her hand free, pressed her hot cheek against the frosted window and walled up her wounded heart. He was right. This was about Javi. But it was about them, too. She sensed him thawing toward her. He talked to her differently now, listened to her opinions, looked at her with respect.

  But perhaps she no longer needed his approval. Self-respect mattered most of all. Somehow, she’d managed to survive the hardest conditions, had even raised a child the best she could. Maybe she hadn’t provided all his school supplies, but she’d made sure he always attended class. She hadn’t had a fridge full of groceries, or even a fridge sometimes, but she’d made sure her child ate and had a warm place to sleep.

  Those weren’t failings, she saw now; they were successes. Successes that proved going to Portland on her own was still the right thing to do. She would not fail, and she and Javi would have a fresh start.

  As for her feelings for James, that was an ongoing battle she’d have to wage until Carbondale disappeared from her rearview mirror.

  Though she suspected it might never vanish from her heart.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  A COUPLE OF nights later, as Sofia stacked the last of the glasses in the dishwasher, the cordless phone on the counter rang. Joy snatched it up.

  “Hello? Oh, hi, Boyd.”

  The girlish lilt in Joy’s voice made Sofia smile. She hustled over to the drying rack, grabbed a cloth and plucked out a dripping pot. Tonight at dinner, the Cade siblings had indulged in another Loveland gripefest about cattle breaking loose again on Cade land and Travis Loveland, a county sheriff, pulling Justin over for the third time this week. Eventually the heated conversation morphed into pointed remarks about Boyd’s precarious financial state and how much he’d appreciate snagging a rich widow right about now, especially after running through his affluent first wife’s funds, her cause of death still a source of speculation...

  It hadn’t missed any of the Cade siblings’ attention that anonymous presents, like the large poinsettia and the box of Belgium chocolates, had been arriving nearly every other day, gifts that made Joy blush and her eyes glow. They strongly suspected the source and their criticisms only escalated with each delivery.

  “No. I—I can’t.” Joy’s tone grew serious. “Well. My kids aren’t exactly taking to the idea of us too well.”

  Come on, Joy. Follow your heart. Stay strong.

  Sofia stowed the dry pot and reached for a frying pan. Watching Joy and Boyd together after support groups let out filled Sofia with hope. She’d been agonizing that Joy’s depression would return when she and Javi left for Portland. Seeing Joy giggle with Boyd, the two of them acting like a pair of infatuated teenagers, standing close, heads bent to almost touching, gave her faith that Joy would stop mourning and start living again for good.

  “I know we talked about this, but I think we need to take things slow after all.”

  Don’t give up, Joy.

  Giving the skillet a last swipe, Sofia hung it from the pot rack above the granite island, then reached for a small saucepan. Boyd seemed like a perfectly nice guy when Joy introduced them. A man of few words, he had a firm handshake, a proud face and an open, direct stare. Most important, he made Joy happy, which ultimately should matter more to her children than keeping up some family feud. This was Carbondale, twenty-first century. Not Romeo and Juliet times. She hoped Joy wouldn’t cave to the family pressure and continue to hide and discourage a man intent on wooing her.

  “I want to see you. I—I miss you, too, but—” Joy turned away and Sofia heard only a jumble of words that ended in a tearful-sounding “Goodbye.”

  Joy joined her at the island, swiping damp cheeks. “Now. Where should I begin?”

  “I think you should start by going out with Boyd.”

  Color flooded Joy’s cheeks. “Oh. No. He wants to pick me up to go caroling tonight, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’d cause tension with the children.”

  “They’re hardly children, and it’s your life.” Sofia stored the dry pan and turned to face Joy. “Only you have the right to control it.”

  Boy, did it feel good saying that.

  Joy closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. “You’re right.”

  “‘Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you’ll be criticized an
yway,’” Sofia said, repeating a quote she’d heard in NA last week.

  “Eleanor Roosevelt.” Joy’s lashes lifted. “She’s my favorite first lady.”

  “Why don’t you pick up Boyd?”

  A low chuckle emerged from Joy. “Now, that’d be a twist for this old-fashioned gal.”

  “I kind of like it.”

  Her eyes twinkled. “Me, too. I’ll call Boyd.”

  A moment later, Joy hung up the phone, her grin wide. “He said yes!” She let out a breath. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

  “I’m so happy for you.”

  Joy picked up her cloth again. “Did I ever tell you how we met?”

  “I thought it was at the support group...?”

  Joy smiled and the distant look in her eye seemed to carry her back in time. “Boyd gave me my first kiss.”

  “No!” Sofia gasped, more fascinated than shocked.

  “Yes. And don’t look so scandalized. We Midwesterners know how to get up to no good sometimes.” A smile the likes of which Sofia had never seen before crept across Joy’s face, transforming her from mother/grandmother to a bold, audacious younger woman who might have been a hellion once upon a time. She had more in common with her troublemaker son Justin than Sofia had ever suspected.

  Joy squirted cleaning fluid on the stove. “We were playing Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

  “Is that the game when you go into the closet?”

  “Right. Basically, you spin a bottle and the person it lands on has to accompany you.” Joy had her back to Sofia and her elbow jerked as she scrubbed the stove top with her good arm.

  “That’s it?” Sofia teased. The cabinet closed with a low thunk as she stowed the pan. Perhaps that was the Midwestern version of “up to no good.”

  “It?” Joy laughed, pausing, and turned. “No telling what anyone got up to in those closets. Pretty much anything. When my spin landed on the boy I’d had a crush on for years, Boyd Loveland, I was thrilled.”

  “So he kissed you in the closet?” Sofia fanned her hand in front of her face. “What a player.”