Christmas at Cade Ranch Page 18

  “Boyd?” Joy rolled her eyes and returned her attention to the stove. “Not a chance. He told me straight-out he respected me and then sat in the farthest corner.”

  Sofia headed to the broom closet. “So, what’d you say?”

  “Told him to stop respecting me and just kiss me already.” Joy returned to the sink, flipped on the faucet and ran her cloth under the stream.

  With brisk sweeps, Sofia gathered the floor debris left behind from the complicated Polynesian meal she’d attempted tonight. Attempt being the operative word. “Did it work?”

  “I might have had to force myself on him a tad.”

  Sofia’s broom stilled in her hand. “Oh, dear.” Joy was full of all kinds of wicked surprises. Up-to-no-good Midwesterners. You had to keep your eye on them, apparently. “Did you start dating?”

  “A couple years later, after I wore him down.” Joy winked, shut off the faucet and hung the cloth from the side of the sink.

  “What broke you two up?”

  Joy crouched and held the dustpan. “My husband.”

  “A love triangle...” The intrigue just kept coming. Three quick sweeps and the pile of crumbs disappeared.

  “He’d always been sweet on me, but I never saw him as more than a friend,” Joy said over her shoulder as she dumped the dustpan’s contents into the garbage. “Besides, Boyd and I were serious and I wasn’t the two-timing type. Then me and Boyd went cliff jumping into a spring-fed ravine. My parents had warned me never to go up there because of the underwater rocks, but I never listened well back then. They were always lecturing me about something or another, especially about Boyd. They didn’t approve of me dating an older boy. Said he was too reckless. Wild.”

  The mischievous smile playing on Joy’s lips had Sofia guessing Boyd had been the tamer one in the relationship.

  “Did you get in trouble for diving?” Sofia picked up a serving platter and ran it under the faucet again when she noticed she’d missed a couple of spots. “Did they forbid you from seeing him again?”

  Disappointment deepened the faint lines around Joy’s mouth. She leaned a hip on the countertop beside Sofia. “Worse. I landed wrong and broke my leg and pelvis. I was laid up in the hospital for weeks and Boyd never visited, not once. It crushed me worse than the fall.”

  “Why didn’t he come by? Guilt?”

  “I thought so, at least at first. I even wrote him letters but he never wrote back. My only visitors were my parents, a couple of girlfriends and Jason Cade.”

  “Your future husband.”

  “Right. Except I was still too hung up on Boyd to have any feelings for Jason. The day I got released, I phoned Boyd but his mother told me he’d joined the Marines and shipped out the day before.”

  Sofia wedged the oblong platter into the drying rack. “Without leaving word for you?”

  Joy shook her head. “It hurt me bad. Over time, I picked myself up, told myself to stop pining for someone who didn’t care about me and to learn to love the young man who did. When Jason proposed, I accepted.”

  “Then what happened?” Sofia was all ears now. Plunking her elbows on the wet countertop, she leaned in closer.

  “Boyd came home on leave the following Christmas and asked if he could see me. I didn’t tell anyone. Just snuck out and met him by the ravine. When I showed him my ring, he got real quiet. I asked him didn’t he want to congratulate me, but he refused, claimed I broke his heart.”

  Sofia gaped at her. “Huh?”

  Joy’s eyes grew moist behind her wire-framed lenses. “When I told him he had it wrong, that he’d crushed me by not visiting, by not answering my letters, he turned white. He said the nurses told him I’d left word he wasn’t allowed in and they sent back the gifts he’d left. He thought I was mad and wouldn’t forgive him for egging me on at the ravine.”

  A short silence descended, broken by the living room’s chiming grandfather clock. After a moment, Joy’s chest rose with a deep breath, then, “We just stared at each other for the longest time. Not comprehending. My parents had always been protective of me. They must have wanted to keep away the man they held responsible for nearly killing their daughter.”

  Joy stared down at her brown suede boots; a perfect match for the belt that spanned her waist. When her eyes rose, they glittered and her eyelashes blinked fast, as if swatting back tears.

  “What happened next?”

  “I cried. He cried. Then he took my hands and swore it wasn’t too late for us. We could make this right. Then I threw up.”

  “Nerves?”

  “Morning sickness.” Joy nodded glumly. “And that was that. When I confessed my suspicions about a baby, Boyd got so still I thought I’d stopped his heart and killed him outright. Then he got up, wished me and Jason well and left without another word. I never spoke to him again until a couple weeks ago, at the support group.”

  Sofia dropped her hand on Joy’s slumped shoulder. “And you got kicked out for talking too much.”

  “We had a lot to catch up on.”

  Sofia caught her in a tight hug. “Oh, Joy. You and Boyd deserve this second chance.”

  Joy squeezed her back and the clean, floral scent Sofia now associated with the woman rose off her neck. “Well, I had over thirty years of happiness with Jason, so maybe I’ve had all the joy anyone can hope for in life, but, oh, I hope, I really hope, that Boyd and I can have another chance. Deep down, I think Jason would want that for me, too. Though I just don’t see how it’s possible with our families so at odds. They’ll never approve.”

  A possible solution fired through Sofia. The Cade family holiday bash was for neighbors and the Lovelands were technically in that category... They had a right to make it onto her guest list, but more important, it would allow both sides to see how happy their parents were together. Surely that would heal this crazy feud.

  She pulled back and gave Joy her most reassuring smile. Funny how just weeks ago, she believed herself at fate’s mercy. Now she felt as though she could conquer the world and help Joy reignite an old love while she was at it. “Let me worry about this silly family feud, okay? Now hurry up. You’ve got a hot date waiting on you.”

  Joy shot her a tremulous smile. “Thank you, honey. I hope you know that, blood or not, near or far, I consider you my daughter. Javi isn’t the only miracle that’s come to me this Christmas. I love you, Sofia.”

  Sofia’s eyes stung so hard she squeezed them shut. She’d never known a mother’s love, that unconditional love she’d only heard about in songs. “I love you, too.” She lifted her lids and smiled through her tears. “Now get!”

  She stared after Joy long after she’d grabbed her coat and hustled away.

  * * *

  SEATED INSIDE A one-horse sleigh, James assessed Milly, the large white quarter horse attached to its front. His brother Jack had rescued the troubled heel horse a few months ago and brought her home to live out her life on Cade Ranch.

  Yet James had sensed right off the bat that Milly longed for more human interaction. She poked her head out of her stall first thing when he entered the barn each morning. At feeding time, she’d eventually stopped shying away and had taken to brushing up against him. Taking the hint, he’d begun working with her, bringing Javi along, and the two of them had formed the kind of fierce bond that only a child and horse could make.

  When Milly finally accepted a bit, he’d begun hitching her up, and now at last he had enough faith to take her, Javi and Sofia out for a spin. His heartbeat drummed in his ears when Sofia appeared through the front door, hastily zippering up the white parka that contrasted with her dark coloring. She’d been a marvel these past few days, executing party planning tasks with an efficiency he never would have expected when they’d first met. Sure, her unorthodox methods still made little sense to him, but that wasn’t the point. They
worked for her.

  By stepping back, James allowed her to take the lead, and she more than rose to the occasion. It challenged his deepest conviction that he needed to control everyone and everything. He was only one person. Trying to be everywhere took its toll and consumed him. It left him lonely and without free time for fun, like this: taking a moonlit sleigh ride with a beautiful woman and the child he’d grown to love as his own.

  “That’s the North Star!” Javi shouted and Sofia passed him over to James. She angled her chin upward but the only heavenly object he had eyes for was Sofia. With her hair loose and tumbling from beneath a white knit cap, her cheeks pink and her lips rosy, he itched to sweep her into his arms, to lay her down against the fur blanket and kiss her senseless, kiss her until they both lost their minds and their hearts.

  Though he knew down deep that he’d already lost his heart to her long ago, maybe from that first night they’d spoken on the porch when she’d alternated between defiance and vulnerability. He hadn’t seen her as some wounded dove to rescue. No. He understood right off that, despite her hardships, she stood proud. Fierce. A woman who’d struggled all her life and never quit. A fighter in spirit and deed, and he’d grown to love that about her.

  Had grown to love her.

  “Uncle James has been teaching me.”

  “Yes, he has,” Sofia murmured and her appreciative gaze fell on him, smattering the dry cracks in his heart with droplets of happiness.

  James settled Javi, then reached down and helped Sofia up into her seat. Javi wedged himself between them. James threw the covering across their laps and lightly snapped the reins. Milly moved forward smoothly, the bells on her harness jingling, and the runners glided over the packed powder covering the moonlit field.

  “Do you like our surprise, Mama?”

  “I do.”

  “Uncle James said you needed a break from all of your hard work.”

  They exchanged smiles over Javi’s head. “Thank you.”

  Heat crept up James’s neck, despite the chill, windless night. “Also wanted to introduce you to Milly.”

  “Milly?” Sofia’s delicate eyebrows rose.

  “She’s my horse!” Javi bounced up and down on the bench, then stilled. “Uncle James says I can keep her if you say so.”

  James maneuvered Milly around a large boulder and caught Sofia’s nod out of the corner of his eye. “Of course. But you can’t bring her to Portland.”

  “She’ll be here when you visit.” Despite his best efforts, James heard a tinge of desperation enter his voice. The need to know when they’d return shocked him.

  In fact, he wished they’d never leave. Given his overwhelming feelings for Sofia, though, he wouldn’t last much longer without speaking them and betraying Jesse. If he won Sofia’s heart, it meant taking it from Jesse, who’d already lost his life because of James’s poor actions.

  No.

  He had to keep on resisting until they left.

  An owl hooted from a nearby tree and Milly’s hooves pranced in the snow, the silvery notes of her swaying bells singing to the stars.

  “Can we visit soon?” asked Javi. When they passed a copse of spruce trees, Javi grabbed a low-hanging branch, showering them with needles and snow, perfuming the air with the fresh, sharp scent.

  “Maybe in the summer.”

  James’s heart sank. That’d be half a year. Forever.

  “But Milly’s going to miss me!” James blocked Javi from grabbing at Milly’s swishing tail.

  “She has other horses to play with.”

  “She only likes me and James.”

  “I’ll play with her,” he assured the child in terms Javi could understand. Although the truth was, without regular work, Milly might slide backward again and become more reclusive than ever.

  “Grandma will miss me!”

  “She will.”

  “Uncle Jared said he’s going to teach me how to tie a tie. He said I’m going to be a ladies’ man.”

  James smiled. “I agree.”

  “But I don’t like girls.”

  “You will someday, bud. Trust me.” Sofia’s eyes fled his and the small, sweet curve of her lips enchanted him.

  “Aunt Jewel said she’d teach me to barrel race, but Justin said that’s for sissies ’cause he’s a bull rider. Can I ride a bull?”

  “No!” James and Sofia exclaimed at once.

  Javi shrugged and snuggled in deeper between them. His eyes began drifting closed. “Uncle James says Milly’s a roper and he’s going to teach me how to rope so we can be a team.”

  “I like that idea, sweetie.”

  “How come we have to leave, Mama?”

  “I have a job in Portland.”

  “Can’t you work here?”

  “When Grandma gets better, the Cades won’t need me anymore.”

  I’ll need you, James thought.

  He urged Milly up a small knoll and fought back the desire to tell her just how much the Cades would still need her. His mother hadn’t spent a day in bed for weeks and he worried her progress would disappear right along with Sofia.

  As for him, he’d grown to need Sofia and Javi, too. He no longer spent sleepless nights tossing and turning, agonizing over what-ifs. Instead he woke energized, excited about what the day ahead held...relying on the fact that Sofia and Javi would be a part of it.

  “Will you get fired again?” Javi’s quavering voice filled James with concern. No child should ever have adult worries like that. James wished he could compel Javi to stay on Cade Ranch. He’d ensure his nephew never worried about or wanted for anything again in life. And that went for Sofia, too. In a perfect world, he’d sweep her off her feet and care for her the rest of her days. She’d already survived enough hard times and deserved nothing but peace, joy and love.

  Could he give those to her despite his guilt about Jesse?

  James sensed Sofia retreating against the soft, padded seat back. “I won’t lose my job again.”

  “But you always—”

  “It’s not going to happen,” Sofia said, fierce. “Ever.”

  “I don’t like Portland.” Javi’s voice grew muffled and his head lolled a bit against James’s chest.

  “You have to give it a chance.”

  “I like it here,” he said through a huge yawn.

  James peered at Sofia’s beautiful profile as she stared at the dark outline of the mountains ahead. “I do, too.”

  Silence reigned for a few moments as they drifted over the snow, Milly carrying them farther and farther from civilization and into another world, one that seemed to lose the rules of his regular life and transformed the moment into something magical.

  “Is he asleep?” James asked, staring down at the top of Javi’s bobbing head.

  “I think so. Thanks for this. It’s lovely.”

  And it was. With the fir trees laden with snow, the white-capped mountains outlined against a star-studded sky, the ground a glittering, crystalline surface, he was more awed than ever by the land he shepherded.

  For so long, he’d thought his job was to keep out others, to protect and maintain this world, this way of life, to preserve it. Yet Sofia had turned those notions, and his life, upside down and he was a better man for it. A lucky man for having Javi in his life.

  And Sofia.

  Did he dare share his feelings with her? Could she reciprocate them? And if so, did they deserve to find joy together, through Jesse’s loss?

  The questions ate at him.

  “You’re doing a great job organizing the party.”

  She turned, startled, eyes wide and unblinking. And there was something off about her mouth. The way it shook just a bit. “Thank you.”

  It surprised him how his simple words affected he
r. Didn’t she believe she deserved praise? Understand how amazing, incredible, special she was?

  Especially to him.

  “I mean it.”

  Yet you still don’t trust her with stewardship of Javi’s trust, mocked a voice inside. Guilt cramped his gut. He’d love nothing more than to believe he could count on Sofia, but he just wasn’t all the way there.

  “What about the invitations?”

  “Technically Christmas is celebrating Jesus’s birthday, so if anyone’s confused by the balloon and cake cover, they can stay home,” he said stoutly.

  “I wanted to be different.”

  He could no more stop himself from reaching out to cup her cheek than he could stop his next breath. “That’s one of the things I’ve come to appreciate the most about you.”

  Dragging his hand away, he returned his attention back to Milly, who strained slightly as they climbed a steeper incline.

  “You don’t like different.”

  “I didn’t know what I liked until you and Javi came along.” Their breaths synchronized for a moment and frosted white in the dark air. “I thought I had everything figured out until I met you.”

  “And now?”

  “Now I see what an idiot I can be.”

  “Can be?”

  “Okay. Am.”

  Sofia had taught him the importance of empowering people, not controlling them, of valuing them for their contributions as individuals. Others had plenty to offer, even if they didn’t exactly follow his way of thinking.

  “I’m no prize, either.”

  He could barely hear her quiet voice despite the winter hush around them.

  “Why would you think that?”

  “Oh. I don’t know.” Her red mittens flashed as she gestured. “Addiction. Joblessness. Homelessness. High school dropout. Single parent. Pick one. Any one.”

  “How about survivor? Outstanding parent? You’re always with Javi. He knows he has a mother who loves him. That’s more than a lot of kids can say.”

  In his peripheral vision, he caught her mouth open, then close a couple of times before she said, “My mother died when I was born, and my dad, well, he might as well have been gone, too.”